Friday, October 19, 2012

real life.

So I'm from a small town right and you kind of know everyone in it and their kids.  This morning I found out that a 19 year old boy was killed last night while working on an oil rig.  And it's blowing my mind.  I just can't even imagine what that family is going through.  Ugh it makes me sick to my stomach.

I couldn't even fathom losing someone I love let alone one of my siblings.  I know at times like this people turn to their faith and take comfort knowing that they have a god or whatever but for me it shocks me that if there is this spirit looking down over us then why would they take away a child!  What's the reasoning?  And ya I'm a strong believer that everything happens for a reason but when something like this happens it takes all my might to try and figure out what possible reason there could be for destroying a life.  For making a poor family have to deal with this heartache for the rest of their lives.

And please believe me when I say I do not judge you or think it's silly to put all your faith into whatever god you believe in.  All I ask for in return is the same respect.  I think it's incredible that you have someone or thing to always have with you, to lean on when you can't stand alone anymore.  It makes me jealous. 

I used to believe in god.  I grew up in a Christian household, went to church and religon (even taught religon for a year) and the whole nine yards.  Then one day I questioned it and everything I believed in and I guess I just never went back.  And like I said in a previous post, I have never really lost someone really close to me or have ever been through a tragic experience.  So maybe if (hopefully not) that ever happens I will need something to help me through it and I will turn back to god. 

I'm rambling now but I just feel so heartbroken for that family.  The older sister of the boy was my own sister's best friend growing up so I know the family pretty well.  I babysat him and his younger sister a few times too.  The last time I saw him was at a party this summer and he was out celebrating his 19th birthday.  He was surrounded by his friends and was having an awesome night.  A part of me is glad that that is my last memory of him.  I will always remember his goofy smile, his arm around his girlfriend, laughing and being the center of the party that night. 

Tell someone you love them today.  As soon as I found out I emailed by brother and told him to be safe at work, take care, and I loved him.  You should do the same.


Tamara said...

Sometimes really shitty things happen and it sucks. I'm sending good thoughts & prayers to the family.
Having faith is hard. I used to be a firm believer, but the older the get and the more questions I have the harder it is to stay strong. Maybe you'll find a way back [and won't have to be jealous anymore]and maybe you won't. Regardless, you are a good person. And whether you believe or not in a higher power - that's something to be proud of.

Chelsea said...

Gosh, hope that everything's ok. That's tough but I'm sure that with time everything will get better.

Katrin said...

That is terrible! :) I can imagine how the family feels! It is so horrible to lose somebody you love!

Lin said...

Aw, what a sad story. I lost my great grandma a few years ago and as sad as it was I can't say I was devastated by it, she was old and that's the way life goes. This however, someone so young dying...I can't imagine it being easy.

I'm not big on religion either. Used to be really into Catholicism because of my mom but as I grew older I started to question everything & realized all is not like they say it is. Now I'm not sure about what I believe in, then again who's to say any of these religions are the "right" ones.