Thursday, September 13, 2012

the list - 2

Wanna know what I'm talking about?  Go here.

Describe 3 legitimate fears you explain have and how they became fears.

1.  It's not really a huge deal but not having a plan totally freaks me out.  I am so that person who wants to know what's happening at what time with who.  It's ridiculous I know, I'm only 23 and just finished school so how the heck am I supposed to have a plan for right now but that doesn't mean I don't want one!  I really don't know if this is a fear but in a way it does freak me out, so that makes it a fear right?

2.  I am terrified of losing someone I love.  The only person I have ever really lost was my grandfather and he was almost 90 and I was young and I guess it wasn't really a huge shock or anything.  It wasn't a good thing he died but it just wasn't super unexpected or anything.  

I guess I'm so scared because I never have.  And so many people around me have.  So it's kind of like, why haven't I?  I'm not this super special person that doesn't deserve bad things right so it could actually happen at any moment.  That scares the shit out of me.  Ugh it makes me sick.

People sometimes comment on how I constantly throw in 'love ya' any time I'm hanging up the phone or saying goodbye (even if I'm only going to the store for soup) but I just want them to know that I do love them more then anything, and anything can happen!  Ever.  I'm being morbid I know.

3.  I am beyond terrified of not being able to have kids.  Like so bad.  I don't know why but I just think my body will never let it happen.  I see a pregnant lady, or see the connection my niece has with my sister and I just want that so bad.  I want to be a baby's everything.  I want to carry a child that's a part of me, and that looks like me or has my mom's eyes or my brothers nose or some trait from their father's aunt.

How this became a fear I'm not really sure... I'm kind of cheating on this one :)  



Check out Mal's list for my inspiration!

1 comment:

Lin said...

Not being able to get pregnant is a big fear of mine too. It's actually not helping that I've been off BC for the last year & still nothing, not that we're actually 'trying' but whatevs.